Mend my Shoe!
Writing,scratching pages,moving pen,is somewhat defines me.Real me.Ways are lost.Emotions are gone.Well,no one can delete feelings but still you can deactivate them.But it might kill you in just one second when you see your shoes going back to those paths that were forgotten.Running and then at last*sigh*.Empty hands and void heart.If one could create the best gadget then he must have made the anti-emotions gadget.There is a theory,don't remember whether of physics or of chemistry,that states the beating of heart at special rate while feeling someone around you.Someone that really matters.Well,now,i only feel ghost around me that scares me.I run away but it arrests me.
And i am suffering from the punishment.Things are,sometimes,not related to forgiveness or forgetting but to intensity.Yeah,i live in intensity.Intensity that hides for some moment and then takes form of a monster.It is a horror that keeps me overwhelmed.A forest through which i run has so many mazes and i have not passed even a single one.Every day,when you get up,it scares you that you're going to live another day.Another episode of this weary drama.My brain has given up all reflections.I just toss on this ocean.Sometime at the bottom and sometime at extreme.Both are related to physical suffering.When i say i am so sensitive and you've broken me into parts and every day i am dying!You'll never find an answer of kind words.
oh!i am so alone!i am dying,you see!i am suffering from critical mental situation.I am dependent on medicines.I really don't feel anything.I am feeling bruise inside me that becomes wound with every breath.What this all would make a good to youh?lol.Nothing but just a temporarily,sympathy that would fade with the time.We run towards those who really can't do any good to you than to make you more miserable.Medicine is not in pills.Maulana Jalalu-din-romi says:
If you want to be healed
Let yourself ill
Let yourself ill.
Having no other words to prolong it.I just pray that Cobbler may mend my shoes as they run towards misty solitude that would do no good to me.
So,here's me,zarnab,signing off.
Take care.
Love.
Solitude is really the best antidote. Everyday I get more weary of this world and everyday I yearn for some lone time. You've gotten wise to realize and see the shallowness of people around. Either it is self-indulgent apathy from them, or fake sympathy. There are very few people in this world who'll remember you in their prayers, and you can never know them because they'll never show it.
ReplyDeleteWhen all's said and done, I hope the Great Mender above mends all your broken places and pours more and more wisdom and contentment in your heart. When you have Him, you need no one. :) Though I'm a bit jealous by that reality, :P but you're taken care of. That's what eases my heart. You're taken care of. :)
Thank you :D
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