May The Dead Never Die...

Yet to travel and yet to explore

I reactivated my Facebook account after five months.They are all happy in their worlds.May they stay as happy as they pretend to be.

I deactivated it again.

People should be honest.They should blog their feelings.I blog.I feel.

I might have sounded like a typical romantic girl in my previous posts but I am not like that.I am a very strong girl who can get over things.I had decided to give it one last try.I did try.I tried.It didn't go well.

James Joyce says that epiphany is something that can make you realize the fundamental realities within the seconds.I have realized, reader.I have realized that forced things cannot be destined.I cannot force him into what he doesn't want anymore.

No more.

I have given this thing my insomniac nights.This regret lies heavy on my heart.I am feeling like Camus' Stranger.He,too, couldn't cry at his mother's death and people took him as someone who is cruel.I am not "btmeez",  it is just that I cannot express properly.I cannot open up my heart to you.You should understand.They jibble-jabble about paralinguistics things.Don't you feel beyond my language? You cannot.You have your own reason which I cannot justify.You are you.

Life is beautiful when you watch films, read books and conspire against every boy who approaches your mother for marriage proposals.Damn fun it is!

Feelings can be fragile and they can hurt you.You are not made to be hurt, girl.stay as strong as you pretend to be.How long would I have to pretend that I am strong? 

Always.

This is perhaps what we call life.You have to let go some things you admire.You can hold their charm but you cannot have them anymore.

The sense of deprivation nourishes depression.I feel beauty in imperfections.I can find beauty in a dead thing as it stays at eternal peace.We, human, are always anxious.Dead thing remains at peace.Our bonding is at peace.It is dead.But I have kept it safe through my words.Words live.People die.

He has hurt me.He could have been gentle.But they say the first principle of devotion is that you have to be devoted in the real sense.You can be treated like a cur but you have to be there.Why? Because you are devoted.I will always be there and always stay devoted with no expectations in return.Stay harsh as much as you can.

Dear world, I am not depressed.I am not anxious.I am just sad.Only sad.I am feeling like that boy in Araby, who feels anguish because he realizes the fact that he is being treated like just another guy and that girl could do the same things with others.I am feeling sad for I didn't create any difference.

All the same.

I need a break from all this.I want to sleep.I want some peace and I want to repeat this thing over and over again that "I am strong"...

I am going on hibernation period. I need to push this new kind of girl back in the halls of darkness that exist within the layers of my mind.I wish to rise from the ashes again like that lady Lazarus.I have to maintain my strong headed persona.I am strong,reader.Or this is what I tell myself.

I want a break from this blogging thing.I have to focus on other things that are yet to be achieved.I have miles to go before I sleep.I need a break.

Don't expect any post.Maybe on Sundays?

It is the end.

Not the pleasant one.

But an end...

Peace.