Rantings of a Middle-class,Small Town and an Introvert Girl...

If you belong to a middle-class family then it won't sound an abnormal thing to you that how they train a girl.The girl would be shy, less confident and a damned introvert.They would be taught things like how to behave when you see a "na mehram" thing.

What If I belong to the same category and what If I am also trained like this.And what If my social life is completely different from what I actually am.I don't make friends.I talk to myself.Yes.

"Now what?

Let me handle

Stay silent

Go!!

F..u..

Stop swearing.

Tell this on her face.

N..o

Then its for you.F..u..

Sshh!"

Its really cool when you tell things to your own self.I tell myself many things.Things that make me happy.Things that make me sad.

Alright.This is not the main point.

Girls are meant to be shy.They shouldn't tell directly what they actually feel.They should do bla bla.But I feel as if only my mother has told me such things.The reality is quite reverse.I don't like listening how girls have been so open to him and how ...I feel jealous. (Why did you do this to me mother?) 

Forget mother.But this is not a sane thing to tell someone so directly what you feel.I am a dumb girl.I confess here.I am dumb because I couldn't even say it directly.It was packed with allusions.It was not that I-love-you kind of things.Duh!

But...how?

How can someone have so much courage? Girls shouldn't do this.They shouldn't tell me this at least.I don't feel good.Sometimes, I hate him for this.Sometimes, I like him again.And, sometimes this sometimes kills me all the day! 

They can write it somewhere.They can make it beautiful through writings.They can do anything but doing it openly....No.This is not the right thing to do.Perhaps, right.Am I making any sense? Let me explain:

Every time I enter into the class, I wish to pull you closer by grabbing your collar and tell you this  by looking directly into your eyes, "Say me no, I dare you!" 

*Blush* 

This is beautiful.See, the words you write remain enchanting and beautiful.And what if I do the same thing in real? Ewww.It would be an utter humiliation.So, yes.This is my point.Girls should write and not do stupid things.Writing is the wonderful thing. (Mother, you should have added this option during your training.Anyways, I have discovered it on my own.Yayy)

The other thing you are told is that every man is a beast.He can trap you and can exploit you.I mean...why? Alright.They have their own concerns.He is not like that! 

"Yaar..he has told her this and to her that."

No.I am not afraid.I am jealous.I am wishing to move his head towards me and tell him "Ap bs mujhy dekhy! (Notice only me!)

"Yaar, he traps girls."

Let me be trapped and see how far he can take me with him.

No.A middle-class girl shouldn't be that bold.Behave like a girl and make her feel that you are scared.

Yes.You have scared the hell out of me.And I am feeling like the kid who, for the first time in his life, has acquainted himself with the idea of ghosts.Spooky!

We could have been the characters from Jane Austen's novels.She is a good girl.She believes in happy endings.She could have done something for us.The reality is opposed to it and we have a society and we have a God.Both can be cruel to us.

What you are doing at this very moment? 

Miss me.