Dreaming Escape...

A sister in abroad.A married sister.A sister in chaos.A brother chasing his dreams.A brother in his teens.A mother who is worried.A father who has made us wretched.

A dysfunctional family.

It is not a really good morning when you wake up by listening to the arguments that end only when they both leave the house.They come back at night.I stay alone the whole day.I cook.I dance.I do stupid things and then I think about both of them.

I hate both of you.No.You know I cannot hate but this is not the way to lead a family.I empathize.I feel my natural job is to listen to people.I listen what they have to tell me.I listen what mother says.I listen what father says.They both seem right.But then, what they have made of us? 

I feel lonely.I feel depressed when they do such childish thing.They fight like they will never see each other again.He doesn't abuse.He doesn't touch her violently but throwing things on floor and roaring in his heavy voice scares me.She doesn't speak but her murmuring instigates him.They do not remain father and mother.They become monsters.Whole new different persons.I cannot recognize them at that moment.I cannot empathize them because I feel fear.

You have to handle it alone because your sisters are busy in their own world.Your brothers don't give it any damn.So, yes, it's you who have to be a mediator.

"Your name is Zainab.Stay true to your name.You can change their mind with your skills of oration."

I tell this to myself.I offer myself as their mediator.They, soon, forget everything.

A happy ending?

No.

I feel incomplete.They should understand that they both have done harm to me.I don't want to stay alone in this home.The silence, sometimes, kills me.

Never mind.I am used to of it.It is nothing new for me.I should take an escape.Yes.I should do a job.It can kill the time.

Stressed.