On Intimacy...

It is raining here.I never liked rain but there is something peculiar about this rain.It is the intimacy that I am feeling for you.Do I sound like a typical romantic girl? Perhaps, I am.However, it pains me to realize that all the passion is unnoticed, unrealized and nonreciprocal.

What's this passion for, then?

Beautiful thing is that you are mine, whenever I want you to be.You cannot be offended in my dreams.You are someone who bears the same affection for me."Don't you miss me?" I would have asked you this If only wind could whisper my thought to you.I am comfortable with this silence because, in this way, you cannot make me suffer through your harsh words.I am happy believing in false notions that you, too, miss me and that you, too, hold the same passion for me.

The heart can think of no devotion

Greater than being shore to ocean -

Holding the curve of one position,

Counting an endless repetition.

I don't know what went wrong but I want to hold this devotion for you.I want to be like that stone on the shore to whom waves hit repeatedly and it still does not leave that place.Stay harsh and ruthless but I will always be there, more curious and more devoted.

I can never touch you.I can never put my head on your chest and tell you things that I long to tell you.The hard truth is we are doomed to be chaste. To never touch each other, hear each other, see each other... so what harm can there be to write about you? I can write things which I can never tell you.I can imagine moments that I wish to have with you.I can do everything with you and yet without you. Are you receiving the vibes? Tell me a thing.Would you let me go that easily? There are so many questions I want to ask but then I fear that your answers would be those which are not desired.So, I won't ask anything but go easy on my heart.

This is the world I have created for us.This is the place where I hold you.In reality, I can not make you feel like this or I am not that brave to tell you or convince you.Perhaps, my feelings don't matter to you or you have had enough love that you don't want anymore.Pta nai but the real world is harsh and you can break my heart with your cold words.So, I will keep quiet and you will feel as if nothing has ever happened and I am alright with all what was between us.

I am not alright.I am just silent but not alright.I repeat, not alright.