Incomplete Me...

I had a weird childhood.Perhaps every body has but then it had something achingly dark which has distorted my psyche.It has left me incomplete.Something in me needs nourishment,a shine and sustenance.Something in me yearns to exclude those anxities which harm my thoughts.But then if that ‘something’ will be removed from my personality,I fear,I’ll be counted  in those fools who are the laughing stocks for others and consolers for others too,in their hard times.

That ravening part of me demands violence.It demands extreme anger and wrath.It boils my blood to death.

But…

 Then I’ve other one.A soft one that can shatter so easily and which can be damaged in a moment.A weak one.An incomplete one.An insecure one.

Did he say so?

w-h-what?

That he likes you?

(Nervously,shieveringly)I swear I never did!..

Did he?

(Trembling)Y-e-a-s-s

And those all little bitches boycotted me and left  me aloof at my corner chair where teacher could hardly see me.The time passed and we’re all scattered in this world like colours on canvas.But they all haunt me in different forms.Those girls in the form of that invisible witch and he in the form of you.What of me?where I was at that moment and where I am at this moment?perahps,nowhere.Perhaps,I never was myself neither then nor now.I was and I am like crystal in which everyone can project itself.Where I can absorb his,hers and yours vanity.Where you can make rest your prejudice so whatever I say I speak at your behalf.Don’t take a single word of mine as purely mine take it as the description of your mind.

All in all I was  always left alone.Sometimes by you,sometimes by my ownself.

Then…

I crave for someone to listen to me and my mind calls out for someone but that someone is dear to me.I’ve already done wrong to her.I can’t be too selfish to pass it down to her and let my nerves rest.So,I walk with you in my dreams.I talk to you there.I feel you there.I do it all when I feel lonesome.I will do it tonight when I feel lonely.

But to this blog,I share my incomplete part.A part that is decaying by days.So,I’ll write whenever I feel myself in conflict.And I’m doing it now.

Peace.