All the loosing i've ever known...

I was loosing it but never realized.It creates more pain in your bosom that the thing once hold by you is no more belong to you.All is gone now and you have no option left.I don’t know from where I inherited such stress and sickness but it is taking my parts everyday and I am becoming hollow.A kind of way I chose for me,once,but I didn’t know it hold such twinged  emptiness and loneliness.

I can’t open it to others and even if I try you’re going to listen the meaningless pieces of words.Lost words.I am feeling as if some one has fastened my brain nerves with rope and pulling it and these are cutting day by day.My poor,twisted,injured,confused nerves!..I can’t write well.I can’t think well. I’ve lost my focus on things. I‘ve lost my concentration.I can’t stand out on one decision.I give abnormal reactions to normal things.I watch nightmares,every night.I feel fear. I’ve thrown my fantasies far away.It wrathed their emotions and now,they haunt me.A strange solemnity dwells in my eyes.I tried to throw it away and buried it somewhere.I tried to smile but,then, everything in me demands extreme.It seems,I’m dead.A dead creature.

I am a fading entity in this crowded world.I am disappearing from every where.A day would come when I’ll be gone and gone forever,leaving my marks behind and may be,they would be replaced by other’s foot  imprints.I am a mess and nothing else!

Everyday is like a hit on my fragile shell that I’ve made for my protection and the day when it will be broken you’re going to watch me at my worst.

I could feel his rise and fall.That fall is deeply engraved in my soul.I must forget those days when I,too,used to be a shining star of my own little world.Now,I am weary of this soul that pushes me to face days.I am tired.I am anxious to sleep well.It’s like some one has put a huge burden on my head that blocks my thoughts,shrewdness,intelligence and all that rubbish,I had once.What one can say to that thing which is not in my approach now..!It’s like some one would jerked me by saying’wake up!’and I’ll tell every one that I’d seen a nightmare.

How much more time this sleep is going to take?

And,then I lost things.I lost them like hour glass looses sand.I lost them like days looses shine and I lost them like an autumn tree looses leaves. I’ve lost my time and I’m kicked away from that boat.The ‘kaafla’is on its way.And I’m sinking into my blues…