ANGELISED DEVIL

ap kitni baton ko piche chor atte ho,yeh soch kar k let the time heals it.But the moment comes and you realise that k ab wo zakhm zakhm nahi rha balke nasur bn chuka hai apki zindagi ka.ap use katte ho,mgr katne se wo barhta jae ga,ap ro ge mgr rone se apko dard ho ga.
 You feel as if  their is a wound within your chest.
 Every time it flows,every minute it grows.....
Again jab mein yeh sochu k mera dukh,mera gham bohat bara hai Wo mujhe hamesha galt sabit karta hai.I am not spiritualy healthy but i want to be.mene duniya k zakhm bardasht nai kiye or na mein karna chahti hu...mein sub se dur bhagna chahti hu....kya leke bhagu?musala?laptop?mein banna chahti hu uski tarha  jo Us ki rza mein razi ho..Mein banna chahti hu uski tarha jo khush hota hai tab b jab wo dukho mein ghira rahe.mein banna chahti hu uski tarha jo apne mazi ko soch kar dukhi na ho jis tarha mein ho jati hu.jo khush rahe jspe Wo khush rakhe.Mein ek kafle k sath chali thi mgr bhatak gae....apni zaat ko pehchan nai rahi...ap kisi insan se itni mohabbat kar sakte ho k ap log uske liye kahi b jao,kuch b karo?mene ki,irade se nahi ho gai...mein kabhi masjid nae gae wo mujhe le k gae.Allah gwah hai mein waha uske liye gae...ho sakta hai kisi din wo mujhe chor jaye or KHUDA ko yad karne ka anmol tohfa mere pas e reh jaye...mein dua karti hu k wo hamesha sath rahe take mein jab b mazi mein jhanku to ek text k fasle pe mera ilaj mojud ho....mein uske liye kuch b kar sakti hu kisi ko b maaf....kisi ko b apna sakti hu.mein use juri har cheez ki bohat respect karti hu.magar wo kyun yeh nai samjhti k uske sath rehna uske pas bethna meri zarurat hai...mujhe lagta hai k ALLAH mujhe sidhe raste pe chalana chahte hain lahaza unho ne use mere pas bheja.Mere liye mere survival k liye yeh zaruri hai k abhi mein wohi karu jo wo kahe...kabhi wo mujhe ek angel lgti hai kabhi ek devil to mere liye wo angelised devil hai.