10 years of Blogging

 

The year is ending with strange vibes. My heart is yelling to write melancholic and something detached from reality.this escapism will never leave me alone. 

Its not just new year. Its been ten years that I am writing on this blog. It has my youthful chased emotion captured in it. I started writing as a young girl who didnt apprehend this world but still thought herself to be a saint. Now, i am a mother of four but still naive.

Year 2022 mark another interval of my life as after ligation I will never be mother again. I will never have to face that pain and physical sickness in the name of pregnancy. I have bear four pregnancies and four deliveries and four babies. It was a very painful experience and yet so beautiful to hold four little twinkling starts in my lap and raising them. They make me forget all the tribulation of pregnancy, the trauma of operation theatre and the malaise  of postpartum. It was a torment to see my three kids at the mercy of maid and I felt myself wretched for not doing anything for them due to complicated forth pregnancy. 

I used to think that i will write a peaceful post on 31st december and say goodbye to this year. I eagerly waited for this day for it will mark end of pregnancies and a fresh beginning. Someday, someone from my kids will be  reading this post and would think of my pain that I and all mothers face while giving birth. 

Here I am. 

Zainab. Writing my life sombrely and quitely in a bubble that I made in the form of this blog and celebrating storing tons of emotions in the form of words for ten years! 

A decade must be tributed and honored.