I let all go...

I am again in the trouble.Again,the same.I resist to think things like this.I just don't want to give any damn to this hell but then....It was something that once gave the meaning to my life,meaning to my thoughts and then after all,left me in this ....well,I hope sometimes for the time that will make me free from this all.Hate,loath,jealousy and vanity has occupied my soul and i'm burning in my self made furnace of anxiety.

I am alone.And i feel this very often or maybe always.I am unworthy,a waste and i am making my life an agony and i am bearing the torture throughout this half life.I get tired sometimes and on others i feel relaxed.Sometimes,i feel no one can understand me and sometimes,i feel i am an open book with so many red marks.Sometimes,i feel just......nothing!

I am depressed because i am feeling the sobs coming out from the other's heart and reason is me.I am worried because I am making my self a joke.When i'll be out from this?