Somewhere in me...

My fingers ache while hitting keys of this machine.What i am left with?To write depressant posts  and then delete them with the fear that what they will think of me.I know they have least time to think so,but,then,i always fear.

A few days ago,a dove had made her nest in our garden.She gave birth to a baby-dove who,afterwards,died.*sigh*.Is it necessary,that death is only possible when you stop breathing?when all your brain stops working.A death exists beyond this physical death.It s a death of inner-self.When you get freak and all your senses get imbalanced.When you gradually realize that you're tangled badly in your own depression and then what you can do is just surrender.A surrender makes you more dead by days.So,you die every day.This is what a real death is.This is where you experience a true lose,filth and shame.A confession of guilt leads you to frustration.A stress in which,when you dwell,people seem sometimes,ghost and sometimes true to you.Sometimes,you use them and sometimes,they.And life goes on...

At first,you really don't realize what it is.You think it to be a normal thing.But a day comes,when you fear people and then love them again.You hate things but you love them again.A morning,you face fighting between your brain and heart that you're going to live another day.It fears you.A horror,that resides in you,makes you to afraid of those faces who remind you of some horrible moments.And,this is when the depression gets fully rooted in you.

My writing may not give you any sense.They may not tempt you.My words may not be as good as you can write.But,believe me,this is how i feel everyday.And,this is how i live everyday.

P.S:just this morning i thought to commit suicide:p...Well,i won't.Life should embrace me.And,i am living with this hope!