THEY ARE GHOST TO ME!
I can remember it was the class of literature when DESDIMONA asked:
"WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?"
"IT'S JUST A TIMEPASS!"i uttered.
she said, "Don't say like this friends are cute,you can share everything with them.they are honest."
"Well,if it is so,then i didn't get anyone like that."
I heard a loud voice:
"IF YOU WANT A FRIEND,BE A FRIEND!"
"BE YOUR SELF!"again i uttered.
Class was over.But i could hear her whispering"i am impressed u've learned it...LOGO KO UMER LAG JATI HAI"....
What was that??I didn't get it..whatever it was,love you desdimona:)
TO me FRIEND word indicates neglegence,cruelty,hatred.It reminds me those days when i cracked a joke but nobody laughed,when i said something but no one noticed.DESDIMONA said once don't use these words.These are severe.Sorry dear but i m going to use these words:
"I HATE THEM MORE THAN HATRED"(sorry princess)
I was just like a decoration piece in that group.they are gone now.I've no contact with them.But still,there is a deep mark on my mind.I've friends phobia.I've a group of stars.They are,no doubt,special but not friends.I
think they hate me for my silence,but i think it's better to be silent.
I've jewels of my treasure.HUMA what a lovely,fun loving girl she is!i don't know why...but when she comes
my hidden smile releases and a big:D appears on my face.She was ever there to support me.She was there when lonesome troubled me.She made me laugh...she tells all the little cute stories and now i am also interested
in her stories.She neglects all others when i meet her.she is fun loving but avoid fun when i am there.she does all those things which makes me feel special.I told her once,you are catherine and i am mr.chips.
Momina!ah!she is all in one but i am one in one.I think she takes me as some CHIPKU type of girl.I think she treats me as an ordinary friend and i expect alot!this is my weakness i expect alot but get regret!
BOTH ARE MY JEWELS!
But i've a fear one day both will leave me with all my care for them.In this way my treasure will become a CELL,A DARK CELL.In which no one exist but my loneliness.Loneliness will always be my jewel.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?"
"IT'S JUST A TIMEPASS!"i uttered.
she said, "Don't say like this friends are cute,you can share everything with them.they are honest."
"Well,if it is so,then i didn't get anyone like that."
I heard a loud voice:
"IF YOU WANT A FRIEND,BE A FRIEND!"
"BE YOUR SELF!"again i uttered.
Class was over.But i could hear her whispering"i am impressed u've learned it...LOGO KO UMER LAG JATI HAI"....
What was that??I didn't get it..whatever it was,love you desdimona:)
TO me FRIEND word indicates neglegence,cruelty,hatred.It reminds me those days when i cracked a joke but nobody laughed,when i said something but no one noticed.DESDIMONA said once don't use these words.These are severe.Sorry dear but i m going to use these words:
"I HATE THEM MORE THAN HATRED"(sorry princess)
I was just like a decoration piece in that group.they are gone now.I've no contact with them.But still,there is a deep mark on my mind.I've friends phobia.I've a group of stars.They are,no doubt,special but not friends.I
think they hate me for my silence,but i think it's better to be silent.
I've jewels of my treasure.HUMA what a lovely,fun loving girl she is!i don't know why...but when she comes
my hidden smile releases and a big:D appears on my face.She was ever there to support me.She was there when lonesome troubled me.She made me laugh...she tells all the little cute stories and now i am also interested
in her stories.She neglects all others when i meet her.she is fun loving but avoid fun when i am there.she does all those things which makes me feel special.I told her once,you are catherine and i am mr.chips.
Momina!ah!she is all in one but i am one in one.I think she takes me as some CHIPKU type of girl.I think she treats me as an ordinary friend and i expect alot!this is my weakness i expect alot but get regret!
BOTH ARE MY JEWELS!
But i've a fear one day both will leave me with all my care for them.In this way my treasure will become a CELL,A DARK CELL.In which no one exist but my loneliness.Loneliness will always be my jewel.
You know what, love, I could never understand how anyone could like me. It used to feel absurd and it still does. And exclusive friends scare me. The expectations scare me, because I'm always afraid of being a disappointment and a cause of hurt. I would rather you treated me like any other girl than feel the way you feel about me. This would make far more sense :D and make me feel far more comfortable. Because there wouldn't be any responsibilities, I guess. Yeah, I sound like a coward but it's just that I am not used to this. I have never felt strongly about any single person, rather I love all of you for your own special ways. :) Because it's fair. :) Comparing people is the most cruel act possible, especially if those people are your friends. :) Like you said in your profile, there are two men with you and one might be more virtuous than the other but they both teach you something. :) My desire to learn is insatiable. That's why I try to gather as many fountains of knowledge possible. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are very special and you don't need to be told this, to prove it. You just are. And Allah Ta'ala will fill your life with special ones like yourself. They are all around you. Not just Huma or me, but each and everyone of them is special. Open your arms wide and receive the glory and love of all of them and trust me, you'll never be lonely. :)
I remember you told me about your Mr. Perfect that he would ignore all others for you. And this thought is unsettling for me. Yes, we want to be made felt special by the one we hold special, but... If someone can let go their loyalties for you, they might someday let go their loyalty to you for someone else. Remember that line in Othello? Who wronged one to get another, could easily wrong that another for some other. How could you trust a person like that? Of course, you might feel alienated and neglected when one has to satisfy one's obligations towards others but it should make you feel peaceful as well.
ReplyDeleteThat this person has never left her dear acquaintances no matter how old their relationships were, so, she will never leave me too. :)This is loyalty. And it is enough to keep you peaceful and content. :) You wont be left alone. Not by me, at least. :)
i know you are right but now i've fear if i open my arms there will be no one,i'll not receive glory but the insults of all others...yes i got the lines of OTHELLO,but you know what the personalities of those girls were so attractive just because they used to avoid all others so i thought to avoid all other is the factor of beauty:p
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletenow,i don't even need others i m enough to handle my petty disputes!
ReplyDeleteThe past is gone and now you have people who love and respect you from the bottom of their hearts. You might not need them and their love, dearest, but they sure need you and yours.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved - remember that. :)
WELL!now you've known!i did open my arms!what did happen???u knw it very well!
ReplyDelete